Mama Laughlin

How to be an alcoholic and still lose weight

Posted: 28 Jun 2012 04:00 AM PDT

Okay, so maybe you're not ALL alcoholics. Whatev.
But I did get a lot of requests on my thoughts on drinking and STILL losing weight.
Yes, it's possible.
No, you probably won't like my answers. Deal with it, lush.
I'm not a genie okay, I can't grant your every wish. If you drink 12 beers a night, I'm gonna probably bet you'll gain a pound or two the next day.

But I'll stay true to the game and tell you my tips and tricks. What I think works, and what will set you up for failure.
Take it with a grain of salt. Or actually don't take any salt, that's water weight. Shoot that shit naked.

DO's:

-Budget your drinking calories.
What does that mean? Well if you know you will be drinking on Friday night, account for it! Eat light all day (think salads, fruits, veggies and lean meats) and "save" your calories for the night. Does that mean don't eat and then go drink 10 beers? Absolutely not. That will leave you singing the dino alphabet and no one wants to makeout with a throw up mouth.
Or hell, DO IT, then you'll throw up all the beer AND anything you had to eat so you may lose a few lbs.
But probably don't if you are wanting to get any ass that night.
-Opt for a low calorie drink.
Like beer? Try the Budweiser Select 55 or the MGD 64. I've tried both and they are both okay. Beer is beer to me. I tend to now just suck it up and drink whatever is around (usually Miller Lite). If you have this tendency (college sluts) then refer to my first tip. Budget those calories and don't overdo it!
Several places now have "skinny" drinks. These are ALWAYS better than a regular margarita or pina colada which are chocked full of calories, sugar and cellulite.
You can also always start drinking liquor. I know, not everyone is a fan. But mixed right, it's actually not too bad.
Try vodka and diet 7up or club soda. Or rum and diet coke.
My aunt got me into this drink in South Carolina that she concocted herself that I LOVE. It's Whipped Rum (1 shot= 60 calories) mixed with Vitamin Water Zero (0 calories) and a splash of calorie free sparking water for some fizz (0 calories). Over ice. Preferably in a Tervis Tumbler.
BLISS.
It's seriously SO good and hardly any calories... as long as you're not overusing the rum.... which is always a concern.

That is EXACTLY what is in my cup. And no, we're not in the car! That's illegal folks!
-Allow one "drink night" a weekend.
You're probably all "oh, that Mama is a two bit hooker who drinks every night." And wrong you would be. I drink one night a weekend., IF that.
Some weekends I'll go without drinking at all. But if I have events or whatev, I'll try and plan accordingly.
Do I have a barbecue on Friday night and an adult birthday party to attend on Saturday night? You can bet your finger lickin' ass I'll be drinking water on Friday night so I can indulge on Saturday.
Find what event is important that you be hammered at and go for it.
Don't just think "it's the freakin' weekend, let's get schmammed every night!"
That's what losers do.
Winners pick one night a weekend and go all out.
I know you want to be a winner. So be one.
-Drink wine.
Why? because it's the shit. And I can have like 3 glasses and be GOLDEN. I can get the same buzz off about 7 beers. And honestly, if I'm drinking Miller Lite that's about 700 calories, and 3 glasses of Pinot Grigio is really about the same (my glasses are big). But I feel less bloated when I drink wine, and I tend to SIP instead of POUND.
That's always a good thing.

DONT'S:

-Go through the drive thru! Taco Bell or Whataburger is NEVER a good idea after a night of drinking. I promise! Drink a big bottle of water before you go to bed, take some asprin and don't eat anything! Eating at 2am is NEVER a good idea. Especially hammered, in your kitchen, probably naked.
-Think that keg stands are cool. They're not. True story- my roommate several years back didn't have any boobs so she constantly wore those gel boob insert things. Well she was doing a keg stand one day (YES, DAY) and her gel boob fell right out of her bra and on the top of the keg. And of course several boys were holding her up.
Take a lesson from her, say no to keg stands!
-Weigh yourself the morning after. You retain water after drinking. It's not a good idea to weigh for at least a couple days after you've thrown several back. Give your body time to "even out".
This statement is null and void if you've thrown up the night before. In which case, WEIGH YOURSELF and take note! You may even end up doing a little mini-tribal because you've probably lost a few pounds. Then go wipe the vomit out of your hair and brush your nasty ass teeth.
-Drink margaritas or any other frozen pre-mixed drink. Unless they have the word "Skinny" before them. Did you know a regular frozen margarita has upwards of 800 calories?? Yeah, not awesome. Stick with what you know!

In all reality ladies, it's all about balance.
It is possible to still lose weight while drinking, you just have to make smart choices.
{HERE} is a great article I found on losing weight while not forgoing the booze.

Also, if you haven't entered the Pure Romance giveaway yet, do it NOW. It ends today and I know there are some whores out there that have yet to enter. You can enter by going {HERE}.