May: Central America

June: Central America / Kineo Island

July: Kineo Island

August: Kineo Island

4 months, no gym. Yes, I ran here and there, did quite a few push-ups & sit-ups and swam & kayaked across the lake once or twice, but I was no where as active as I used to be. Not even close. For three years now, from September to May, I went to the gym 5 times a week, no exceptions. But, also for three years, every summer, I stopped exercising and I got chubby. So now, here I am, chubby and needing to go to the gym.

The thing is... I am petrified to go. I can't explain it. I think I have gotten very self-conscious and just the thought of people seeing me get back on track is mortifying. I don't want to huff and puff my way back to where I was before. I don't want to have fat rolls show under my exercise shirt. I don't want to find it difficult to run on the treadmill. But the only person that got me where I am now is myself, I am the one that got me in this situation. So, now, I have to get myself out of it. And there is no more Maine for the summers (as much as that breaks my heart). I am starting a new phase of my life where I will never stop being active and healthy. So, this is it. I have to start well.

Tomorrow, it will have to be a run and weights at home since the gym is closed, but Tuesday, I am starting over again, no matter how scared and self-conscious I am.

This has to happen, because I want to get to Hungary feeling great and confident...