Mama Laughlin

Posted: 29 Jun 2012 11:02 AM PDT

Have y'all seen those lamesauce "30 Day Marriage Challenge" posts going around on Pinterest?
Sure, I like hearts and flowers and all that girly shit. But look, these 30 Day Marriage Challenges make me want to vom.com.
They are geared toward women so ALL of them give you 30 days of shit to do for your husband.
EXCUSE ME?? Where's the man version of this? Why doesn't HE have to do 30 consecutive days of shit for ME?
Let me show you what I mean.

Is this a joke?
GO A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT CORRECTING YOUR HUSBAND?? You might as well shoot me now. That's not possible.
"Imagine how it feels to be in your husband's shoes." REALLY? How about he imagines how it feels to push babies out of your vag.. MULTIPLE TIMES!
"Assume the best about your husband." Sure, while he's out to lunch at Hooters, I'll assume the best.
"Don't ask him to do any chores or honey-do's today." WHAT????? Again, not possible.
"Remember that being a wife is a blessing." Am I on Punk'd? Where's Ashton?

I'm not one to give marriage advice, trust me. But if I was to write my OWN 30 Day Marriage Challenge (for the MEN to do) this is what it would look like:

MAMA'S 30 DAY MARRIAGE CHALLENGE

1. Wake up when the baby cries today. I know your wife usually does it, but suck it up jackass.
2. Let your wife sleep in today while you tend to the kids.
3. Wake up your wife with breakfast in bed today
4. Tell your wife she is beautiful every hour today.
5. When your wife gets home from work today, rub her feet.
6. Remember, being a husband is a blessing.
7. Tell your wife she is so super skinny and you love her body today (and every day).
8. Tie your wife up today and spank the shit out of her, like Christian Grey would.
9. Give your wife $1,000 to go shopping today.
10. Feed the kids dinner AND do bathtime today. Tell your wife to go take a bath and have a glass of wine.
11. Pleasure your wife with your mouth today. (WHAT? I meant kiss her!)
12. Send flowers to her work today "just because".
13. Buy your wife an expensive piece of jewelry today.
14. Leave your wife a sweet note today.
15. Tell your wife you are proud of her today.
16. Take your wife to dinner and a movie today.
17. Cook dinner for your wife today and have it ready by the time she gets home from work.
18. Have sex with your wife today. Multiple times, in different places and positions.
19. Don't bitch about your wife spending money today.
20. Surprise your wife at her work and take her to lunch today. Then get in a nooner in the car.
21. Tell your wife she is a MILF today. (and every day).
22. Clean the entire house today in your tool belt and boots only while your wife watches.
23. Imagine how it feels to be in your wife's shoes... pushing babies out of her vag... that YOU put there.
24-30. See #18. And #8.

That is a list I'm TOTALLY down with.
Now spread this like wildfire and make sure you print it out for your husband. And remember, being a HUSBAND is a blessing!

Winner Winner; we all know you're a freak.

Posted: 29 Jun 2012 07:35 AM PDT

The winner of the Pure Romance Inner Goddess Collection is comment #50: Jenny

Jenny, now everyone on the interwebs knows what you are about to be in possession of!
YOU'RE WELCOME!
Email me your name and address to mama (dot) laughlin (at) yahoo (dot) com and I'll get you hooked up.

For everyone else, head over to Natalie's Pure Romance page, browse around (preferably not at work) and look at all the cool gadgets. Then buy you one, because, honestly, WHY NOT??
And if you mention Mama Laughlin and that you're a fan of Natalie's on Facebook (which you SHOULD be if you entered this giveaway in the first place) then you will get 20% off your order.
"I love paying full price for awesome vibrators", SAID NO ONE EVER!

*Thank you Torie for helping me with the screen capture feature!

Hope y'all have a great weekend!