Mama Laughlin

Posted: 04 Sep 2012 08:17 AM PDT

Oh Holy Hell, y'all are gonna love me.
SO, last week I had a reader (Hi Denise!) gift me a book.
Let me first start off by saying this...
I don't read. Like ever.
The last books I read were the Fifty Shades Trilogy and that's because I liked the sex scenes. Sue me.
That to say, I'm not a reader. I can barely fit all the things I need to into my cram packed day already, reading pretty much gets put on the way back burner. Like WAY BACK.
But I started reading this book anyway.

And the rest is history.

I am not finished with the book yet, but it is so incredibly awesome that The Hubs even wants to know what's going on. And if you thought I wasn't a reader... HE REALLY ISN'T. Like, I'm not even sure he CAN read. I've never seen him read a book (or anything other than the captions under the pictures in Playboy) EVER. In 10 years.
But I've been reading it aloud to him at night.
We laugh until there are tears in our eyes, THAT'S how funny this book is.

This bitch (the author) talks like I do. She writes like I do. I was instantly in love with her.
I HAD to get in contact with her.
So I emailed her.
And our conversation basically went like this:

Me: ummm, you're awesome. Your book is the tits and I'm in love with you. Please let me feature you on my blog.
TS: OMG I love you too! Let's wear BFF necklaces. Seriously, I'll swipe some from my daughter's jewelry box, she'll never know. I'll do whatever you want. I can put my ankles behind my head.
Me: The ankle thing sounds amazing. Please teach me. My boobs are fake. Want to touch them?

And thus blossomed a glorious friendship. We're pretty much BFFs. She's going to teach me how to put my ankles behind my head and I'm going to let her touch my boobs. Sounds like a solid friendship to me.

Please, meet my new BFF, Tara Sivec:

Hello everyone! The queen of all hot mama's, Mama Laughlin, invited me to her blog to introduce myself. My name is Tara Sivec and if you read my bio on Amazon and Goodreads it says I'm an author, wife, mother of two and an albino squirrel hunter. I added "midget tossing champion" to my bio on The Twatter (that's Twitter for the mentally sane folks out there) because I felt it will be more appreciated there.
So, yeah. I'm an author. My first book was just released in June and it's called "Seduction and Snacks". It's a beautiful, romantic story about love, life and friendship. Ha, ha, just kidding! It's a completely inappropriate book about a chick in college who plays one too many rounds of beer pong, loses her virginity and gets knocked up. A few years later, she's got a handful of friends who all like to talk about her pikachu in public and a toddler who repeats everything and likes to talk about his wiener. And not the Oscar Mayer kind either. Unless that's the kind of wiener you have – pale, limp and smells funny - if that's the case, I'm sincerely sorry.
My book reads like how I talk. You know how some people are born with that little voice inside their heads that processes things between their brain and their mouth and is like "Oh no. No, just…no. Don't say that out loud."? Well, my voice is slightly more bat shit crazy. My voice says "Ha ha ha ha that is fucking hilarious! Say it again, but louder this time and put the word penis in there!" (see! soul sisters!)
The book also has a lot of real life events and conversations in it, but the names have been changed to protect the innocent (drunk). My life is a tad insane and my family is even crazier. They provide me with enough material to fill eleventy-billion books. If you are skeeved out by the word "vagina" though, you might want to stay away. A reader posted a review that the word "vagina" was used 127 times. I'm not kidding, she actually counted. I know, you would think I'd be shocked that I used the word 127 times, but no. I'm shocked someone sat down and counted. I have a vagina, why shouldn't I use the word? It's a great word. Vagina. If you say it really fast it almost sounds like Fun-gina.
So, in closing, I wrote an awesome book and if you love to laugh, you should read it. And if you don't like to laugh, it could be because of your Oscar Mayer wiener. If that's the case, my book could help you out with that. Not the smell, or the color, but possibly the limpness and your self-esteem.
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See, I told y'all you were gonna love me. And Tara, too! Now, SERIOUSLY, GO BUY THIS FREAKING BOOK!!! YOU WILL NOT BE SORRY! And you can thank me later!

You can get it {HERE}.
Tell everyone and their dog about it!

And because Tara is my new BFF and is so ridiculously awesome, she is giving 3 copies of her book away!
All you have to do is tell me a TRUE, funny story that's happened to you in the comments (keep it semi-short please, I have a short attention sp-HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!)
I will pick the 3 funniest stories and send you a copy.

Now, make me snort from laughing so hard!

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